Friday, 28 November 2014

This is called single point focus ...

This is called single point focus ...

Bengali :
My grandfather lived for 96 years & he never used glasses...
Yes, I know,
some people in my family also drink directly from the bottle..

English da Safayaaaaaa !!!

English da Safayaaaaaa !!!

In train, a woman slept at Santa's son's place & refused 2 get up.
Santa went to TC & complained:THIS LADY IS NOT GIVING BIRTH TO MY CHILD😄😜

iCat Security - Oru Vadakkan Veeragatha!!!

iCat Security - Oru Vadakkan Veeragatha!!!

Chicken Mella...with spices..

Chicken Mella...with spices..
The chicken PJs:
Who's the father of the chicken?
Chiken ka bab
Who's the mother of the chicken ?
Chicken kima
How do u tell a chicken to call u on your mobile?
Kalmi kabab
What happens when a chicken takes a bath ?
Chicken showerma
Chicken in trouble?
chicken soup
Chicken getting injection
chicken teeka

Head Football,, sorry Football with Head

Head Football,,  sorry Football with Head

Sunday, 23 November 2014

Bowling... with confidence

Bowl, with confident

Ball on the way to target.

Trashes all balls, in set, the last ball on the way to be wiped out..
Suceeded, watches with satisfaction, and a fresh set of balls is kept,

👨Sir: Mone, Additional..Sheet Veno?

👨Sir: Mone, Additional📄Sheet Veno?😊

👦Stud: Vendaa...!😐

👨Sir: Aa Last❓Question'nu Answer Cheyyaan..?😐

👦Stud: Vendaa..!!😕

👨Sir: Oru Diagram🔲Varaykaan..?😗

👦Stud: Edoo Thannodalle Paranjee Vendennu!!!😠

👨Sir: Ithevideninnu Vannedaa Padaaram?😟

👦Stud: Sir, Allel Oru Sheet📄 Thaa Diagram🔲 Varyakkaam.😒

👨Sir: Ninnodu Njan 1⃣0⃣0⃣0⃣ Thavane Chodhichathalle Sheet📄 Veno, Sheet📄 Veno Ennu?😠
Sheet📄 Thannelayalle Parajee..😼 Aksharam Maarionnum Illaloo..?😏 Nee Entha Vesham Kettedukkaa?😕 Enikk Ingane Appozhum Sheet📄 Tharaan Pattulaa..😒
Njan Pazhaya HOD 👴aannu...

👩Teacher: Entha Sir👨 Preshnam?😦

👨Sir: Ente Teachere👩 Njan 1⃣0⃣0⃣0⃣ Thavane ee👉 "NAAYINTE🐕 MON🐶"odu Chothichu, Sheet📄 Veno Sheet📄 Veno Ennu..😡
Appo 👉Ivante Ammaede..😷

👩Teacher: Che.. Entha Sir👨 Ingane?😳

👨Sir: Athalla 👉Ivante Ammaye Njaana Biology Paddipiche..😁
Ennittaa 👉Ivan Ennodu Ingane Perumaarunne😣

Appo Vere 👱Student "Sire👨 Oru👆 Sheet📄"

👨Sir: Thottappurathavante Keeri✂ Ezhuthadaa😡
Ororuthanmaar Penayum✒ Vaadakayik Eduth Vannirikuvaa..😠
👉Ivaneyokke 📋Exam'nu 📢Vilichattundo?
Enkil Hall Ticket💳 Kaanikkedaa..👺

👩Teacher: Ithaa Sheet📄

👦Stud: Enikkini Sheet📄 venda!😏

👨Sir: Athu Enthada Ninakk Sheet📄 Vendaathe?👺 Ezhuthedaa Ezhuth,👹 Muzhuvannum Ezhuthi Hall Ticketum💳 Kanichittu Poyaal Mathi Panni😡

Saturday, 22 November 2014



Once I asked my friend, "What is the secret behind your Happy Married Life?" 

He said "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

I asked "Can you explain?"

He said "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my Wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, i asked him "Give me some examples".

He said "Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit the super market, when & where to go on vacation, which sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy. Monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc. Are all decided by my wife. I just agree to it "

I asked "Then, what is your role?"

He said "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanctions over Zimbabwe, whether telangana should be formed or not, whether Dhoni should retire from Cricket , Whom should Salman Khan Marry. etc etc. and do you know, my wife; NEVER, objects to any of these decisions"...

Friday, 21 November 2014

Once a Bright and Intelligent young man went for an IAS (Indian Administrative Service) interview

Once a Bright and Intelligent young man went for an IAS (Indian Administrative  Service) interview.
He was asked -
Q 1. When did India get Independence?
He answered - The efforts started long back; but could succeed in 1947

Q 2. Who were the persons, who played important role in this fight for Independence?
Answer - There are many people, who were involved and contributed in this. If I give a name, it will be injustice to others.

Q 3. Do you think, Corruption is the greatest enemy of the country?
Answer - A committee is investigating in this matter. I can give a correct reply to this only after seeing the report.
The Interview Board was impressed by his original ideas. They asked him to wait outside; but also advised him not to reveal the questions, as they may ask the same questions to other candidates also.

When the young man went out of the room, Sardar inquired about the questions asked. The young man said that he had promised the interview board not to disclose the questions.
But, Sardar found a way out. "Tell me the answers you gave."

The young man, thought it to be okay, as he was not going back on his words of "not disclosing the QUESTIONS". So he gave him the three answers which Sardar quickly learnt by heart.

When Sardar went in for interview, this is what happened.

Q 1. When were you born?
Sardar : The efforts started long back, but could succeed in 1947.
Interviewers got confused...they asked the next question.

Q 2. What is your father's name?
Sardar : There are many people, who were involved and contributed in this. If I give a name, it will be injustice to others.
The board members were shocked at the reply..they said,

Q 3. Are you mad?
Sardar : A committee is investigating in this matter.  Can give a correct reply to this only after seeing the report.

During increment time - Puzzles

During increment time - Puzzles

Boss : There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane. If u drop 1 outside. How  many are left?

Employee : That's easy, 49.

Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge

Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.

Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.

Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Employee : She   crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday

Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady st died. Why?

Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...

Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen frm the aeroplane. Thats the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!

A Doctor opened a clinic & wrote

A Doctor opened a clinic & wrote
outside the clinic:
Any treatment in Rs.300/- & if we cant treat, we will pay you back Rs.1000/-.

A CLEVER Man comes to do fraud & thinking to get Rs.1000.

He says to the Doctor:
I cant feel any taste on my tongue...

Doctor asks the Nurse to put few
drops of medicine from box no 22.
After that the MAN shouts: "What d _____ ...its URINE!!
The doctor says congratulations your sense of taste is back now.

The MAN was angry as he lost Rs.300.
After 2 weeks MAN comes back again & this time he thinks to get back his previous 300 too.
MAN: Doc! I've lost my memory.
Doctor: Nurse! pls put some drops of medicine from Box no 22 on his tongue.
MAN : Wait doctor but that medicine is for sense of taste.
Doctor: Congratulations your memory is back.
Moral: Don't try to be over-smart with Doctors...

Einstein & a Malayali sitting next to each other on a long flight...

Einstein & a Malayali sitting next to each other on a long flight...

Einstein says:
"Let's play a game...
I will ask you a question,
if you don't know the answer,
you pay me only $5
if I don't know the answer,
I will pay you $500..."

Einstein asks the first question:
What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon...?
Malayali  doesn't say a word,
Reaches his pocket,
Pulls out a $5...

It's the Malayali's turn...
He asks Einstein:
What goes up a hill with 3 legs
comes down on 4 legs..?

Einstein searches the net and asks all his smart friends...
After an hour he gives M
http://  $500...

Einstein going nuts and asks:
so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four..?
Malayali reaches his pocket and gives Einstein $5...

Einstein fainted.....
You may be Einstein...
But never under estimate a Malayali.. !

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.

Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1 crore.
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 year war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
Sardar asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
Sardar asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
Sardar gives up.
.If You think you are indeed clever than  Sardar's , then
please answers below fast..

if you feel tough , then Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again... !

Waiting for your answers, as comments, Ex: 4) D ..
Prices for the best candidate, out of who scores full in all answers.*

*Conditions apply, the judges decision is final

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of
the puppies.

Monday, 17 November 2014

Problem with gas

Problem with gas 

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, 
"Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it 
really doesn't bother me too much. They never 
smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, 
I've passed gas at least 20 times since I've 
been here in your office. You didn't know I was 
passing gas because they don't smell and are 

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and 
come back to see me next week." 

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," 
she says, "I don't know what medicine you gave 
me, but now my gas..... although still silent... 
smells terrible." 

The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've 
cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your 

Finding the Humor in Your Daily Life ; FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT?

Finding the Humor in Your Daily Life 

When my son, Evan, was three, we started a bedtime ritual of 
singing Christian songs. He particularly liked "Amazing 
Grace." One day as I was driving, he asked me to sing him a 
song. When I asked Evan which one he'd like to hear, he 
responded, "You know, that song about those amazing grapes." 

-- Diana, Florida 

from "Small Talk," Today's Christian Woman magazine 



The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child whispering,
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?" the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice
whispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes", came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child.
"Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes" whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing very concerned especially as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear
piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"Honey, what is going on at your house?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed, whispering voice the child answered, "Some men in a hello-copper just landed and are looking around."
Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they looking for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me"


Hearing a department store clerk address me as "Ma'am," four-year-
old Jennifer asked what that meant.

"Ma'am is short for madam," I replied. "It's a polite way to
address a woman."

Jennifer asked what name Daddy would be called.

"Sir," I answered.

"Sir ..." she thought for a moment, "that must be short for

Finding the Humor in Your Daily Life

When my son, Evan, was three, we started a bedtime ritual of
singing Christian songs. He particularly liked "Amazing
Grace." One day as I was driving, he asked me to sing him a
song. When I asked Evan which one he'd like to hear, he
responded, "You know, that song about those amazing grapes."

-- Diana, Florida

from "Small Talk," Today's Christian Woman magazine 



Writing on the topic of worship, author Greg Laurie shares the

I heard the story of a woman who had finished shopping and
returned to her car. She found four men inside the car. She
dropped her shopping bags, drew a handgun, and screamed, "I
have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car."
Those men did not wait for a second invitation; they got out
and ran like crazy.

The woman, somewhat shaken, loaded her shopping bags and then
got into the car. But no matter how she tried, she could not
get her key into the ignition. Then it dawned on her: her car
was parked four or five spaces away! She loaded her grocery
bags into her own car and then drove to the police station to
turn herself in. The desk sergeant to whom she told the story
nearly fell off his chair laughing. He pointed to the other
end of the counter, where four men were reporting a carjacking
by an old woman with thick glasses and curly white hair, less
than five feet tall, and carrying a large handgun. No charges
were filed.

You see, she thought it was her car, but it really belonged to
someone else. We think our lives are our own, but they really
belong to God.

Illustration from
by Greg Laurie, "A Time to Worship," Decision (November 2001);
submitted by Van Morris


Why death at 11 am

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where
patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even
thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could
solve the mystery..... as to: Why the death at 11 AM?

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decide to go
down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next
Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously
wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon
was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other
holy objects to ward off the evil........

Just when the clock struck 11..... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday
sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so
that he could use the vacuum cleaner


Following our church's Easter musical, our 4-year-old daughter 
went through the house shouting, "Give us the rabbits! Give us 
the rabbits!" Finally I asked why she was shouting this. 

"Daddy, that's what all those people were yelling on the 
stage," she explained. I thought for a moment and then it 
dawned on me. The crowd was actually yelling, "Give us 

-- Marc W., Campbellsville, KY 

from "Life in Our House," Christian Parenting Today magazine

Aggravating the Devil

Aggravating the Devil 

The Priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the Priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of him!" 
The dying man said nothing. 
The priest repeated his order. 
Still the man said nothing. 
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?" 
The dying man said, "Until I know for sure where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."

Sunday, 16 November 2014


**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct...!!!)

**Cultural Gap
If electricity goes in America they call the power house.
In Japan, they test the fuse,
But In India, they check neighbour's house, "power gone there too....then ok!" 😀😀😀⛽⛽⛽

**Sense of Responsibility...
A man goes to library n asks for a book on Suicide..........
Librarian looks at him n says: "hello.. who will return the book ????"

Go hide! Your teacher is coming as you bunked school today!
GRANDSON: YOU go hide.. I told her YOU PASSED AWAY!!

**Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?
Brother: A football
Sister: But grandma does not play!
Brother: On my b'day she gave me bhagavat gita.   😛😀
Dont laugh alone pass it on.....